Working Script

Train Script Draft 01


ECU on Newspaper headline (Headline relevant to 30-year anniversary of WWI with by-line about Hitler’s rise to power); Pull out to reveal an older man reading the newspaper on a bench on a train platform. He is in a spotlight surrounded by heavy shadow so he’s the only thing the viewer can focus on. Newspaper shuffles but is never take away from his face so the viewer can’t see it. The only sounds heard at first are the sounds of coughs and shuffling feet on the platform and the newspaper pages rustling.

Suddenly the sound of a train breaks in and a light appears from the right side of the viewer’s peripheral vision. The older man lowers his newspaper and we see he’s wearing a wide-brimmed hat with his face in shadow. He wears a military style coat with wide lapels and padded shoulders (possibly a medal on display or other such decoration). As the train draws into the station bright light fills the view fading the scene to white, when vision returns the viewer is now looking the stationary train with its doors sliding open and a newspaper in their lap.

Veterans POV:

Walking up to the open carriage doors a slightly weathered hand rests on the edge of the door before boarding.


POV, looking up and down the carriage the viewer sees a few other passengers but a mainly empty carriage. Walk to the seat nearest in front of the viewer and sit down facing the opposite window and watch the station move away and the tunnel fades to darkness with a very faint/blurred reflection of the Veteran.


POV, all passengers mostly ignore each other there’s some shuffling and minimal movement from them as they settle. The viewer is able to look up and down the carriage at the 5 other passengers on board. The lights flicker a little overhead with the motion of the trains movement. The newspaper gets set down on the seat next to the viewer as the flickering lights begin to dim and flare faster until they suddenly go out.

Trench Flash Back:

POV, in the darkness the shapes of the seats and the walls of the train materialise into a trench. The viewer sees flashes of gunfire around the edge of the trench and muffled bangs. The silhouettes of soldiers move around the viewer who is able to turn their head and look at the soldiers moving around them and hear heavy running feet thumping closer to them and then further away again.


POV, the lights flash back on and the trench disappears replaced again with the train walls and seats and passengers. The veterans breathing is more noticeable now (Not fast just deeper and a little louder. Everything stays stable some of the passengers move in their seats and the lights don’t flicker any more. The veterans breathing quiets a little and he settles into the seat. The train gets very quiet and even the veterans breathing seems to disappear. The veteran’s hands sit in his lap. The viewer’s perspective is forced to look down at the hands in the veteran’s lap and watch as he turns the hands over to see his palms. The lights flash off and on and when the light comes back on the viewer sees bloody palms.

(Bloody Hands Flash Back)

The viewer finds themselves back in the trench this time with weapons and loose shrapnel all around them and bloody hands. The sound of the veterans breathings picks up again as the viewer can look around the scene. A single pair of running feet comes towards them from the left until and soldier (General/commander?) runs up to them and starts yelling, ͞Tickets! Tickets!͟ in their face.


POV, the soldier (General/commander?) flickers and becomes a train conductor looking down into the viewers face and asking for a ticket. The veterans hand comes up showing a ticket clutched tightly in a fist. The conductor nods and moves on walking down the carriage. The veterans breathing becomes very loud and the viewer is forced to look at their hands again before regaining the ability to control the views direction. When they look up the other passengers are staring at the veteran shuffling a little uncomfortably before their eyes slide away and then their heads follow. The veterans breathing continues loudly.


POV, the breathing is still heavy and other noises on the train are muffled. A passenger starts coughing somewhere to the left of the veteran. The coughing gets louder and louder until it rivals his breathing. The coughing passenger lifts a handkerchief to their face but it becomes a gas mask. The veteran closes his eyes and when they open again the view is restricted to two eye holes as if he is looking out of a gas mask. Everything is misty and shadowy, nothing is defined there’s only a warm smoky haze of light and the vague silhouette of the other passengers/soldiers can be seen through it though all now look as though they are wearing gas masks. The veteran closes his eyes again and when they open everything has returned to normal except for his breathing which is loud and rapid.


POV, the passengers have all turned to stare again their bodies stiller and their eyes wider this feels more hostile than the first time they were staring. There’s a screech of metal on metal as the train breaks. The lights flicker out and the viewer is back in the trench.


POV, there seem to be shells falling into the trench all around the viewer and earth exploding around them from all sides. The lights flash back on and the carriage returns.


POV, the Passengers are staring again eyes wider than ever and all leaning forwards towards the viewer, the screeching break noise continues and the lights flicker and die again.


POV, the passengers have all been replaced with staring dead soldiers, all staring at the viewer.


POV, the lights come back on and the passengers are still staring the viewer. The train finally comes to a stop and the doors slide open. Many of the passengers get off and all stop staring. The veterans breathing is still raged and loud as her stares at the open carriage doors. As he stares another man in a military coat boards the train he makes eye contact with the viewer and nods walking over to them. He bends down touches the veterans hand.


WS, the viewers point of view slides away from the veterans so they are looking at both men in profile as the second veteran sits down beside the first and gently pats his shoulder.


This is the current working draft of our script I wrote it after our groups first chat about where we wanted the story to go with the VR and how we could best affect the viewers emotions. I’m sure it will be subject to change in the future but currently this is the way in which we want it to go.


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